Frequencies
by ekourege
Summary: Naruto can speak to animals, and as it turns out, they're all apparently dead set on ruining his life.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Speak no Evil (Hear no Evil)

Fandom: Naruto

Rated T for Angst, children fighting each other, and profanity.

Summary: Naruto can speak to animals, and as it turns out, they're all apparently dead set on ruining his life.

* * *

Chapter Notes: Hello again everyone! I'm back with something new.

I wanted to work on something fun while I toiled away at my Time Travel fics, and this concept is something I haven't seen enough of. There's such a lack of it that I want to weep, honestly. Why write Time-Travel fics when you can write one's like these! This is a gem concept, guys. That's not to say I don't love Time-Travel fics, because I love Time-Travel fics (and am writing a whole series centering around different universe breaking Time-Space events. Cue nervous laughter here.) but there really are a lot of them. It seems that every fic writer and their grandmothers have written one, so finding new and interesting ones are rare.

Does it make me a hypocrite to say that and then turn around and write a couple? I don't know.

Anyway, I tried to mix my personal headcanons with actual canon while trying to keep it logical. I'm not sure if I succeeded or not, but feel free to leave a review about it! Naruto Canon has so many plot holes, much missing information, and things that don't have any reasonable explanation that it's hard to write something that makes even an ounce of sense. It's quite the mess, really.

Some notes about names: Crows all have three letter names. Crows, despite being fun, sneaky creatures, are relatively simple. To further this point, all of a crow's siblings will have names that start with the same letter. Aoi, Ami, Aki. Rei, Ran, Ren, You get the gist; crows aren't really the sharpest tools in the shed and don't really have the mental capacity for anything complex.

Also, Naruto will probably not be able to talk to fish, but damn it if he won't try! He'll be able to clearly hear amphibians and insects later on in the story, though. How many fics have I seen where the character only talks to mammals? While that's an interesting limitation, it's never expanded upon and as such has become cliche and overused.

I'm not sure how often I'll be able to update this fic, but I'll try my best! Onto chapter one; titled "In which crows are assholes that never leave you alone."

EDITED 5/16/17: Went through some major revisions! Added some details and reworded stuff. If you see any mistakes grammar wise, point them out and I'll mend them ASAP.

* * *

The first four years of Naruto's life were very quiet.

After the sealing, the higher ups concluded with much yelling, that the child would be placed in a small, mundane orphanage in West Konoha. (Done away from the newborn of course, everyone, even the Sandaime - who was his main advocate - was wary of the child, for all that they were experienced, they were not Minato Namikaze and did not know the seals limitations and capabilities, so the Hokage and his council didn't want to push their luck and disturb the child by yelling. None of them were eager to release the monster on their beloved village again.) Out of the public eye, away from the limelight. (and their sights. If they forgot about the Kyuubi and who it was sealed in for a while, just until he was old enough to be introduced to Konoha proper, then maybe, just maybe they'd be able to heal.)

(They won't.)

Naruto, bawling and swaddled in blankets, is dropped off at an already overcrowded orphanage by a haggard looking ninja who is holding the child as far away from the ninja as possible without hindering his movements and jeopardizing his cargo. He looks disturbed and sick, his face pale and his eyes looking anywhere but at the bundle he's carrying, most likely because of who he's holding, but curtly puts him down at the steps, and without even knocking, high-tails it out of there.

He misses the look of horror on the matron's face when they open the door to find that child there. Naruto doesn't, his big shining eyes pick up on the hatred and disgust that roll off of matrons in waves, and he starts to whimper.

The infant is put away in one of the smallest rooms. Any other child that had previously inhabited the room are moved to another room before they even know of his existence. He has a small white crib, the paint flaky and peeling, a small bookshelf with old and dog eared children's books, and a small drawer to put clothing and other baby supplies in. The lack of furniture and decor makes the room seem to engulf the tiny infant, whose smaller and thinner than any baby his age should be - a product of the stress and neglect of his birth or the Kyuubi being sealed into him, no one will ever be sure. No one is around to see his eyes opening and staring at his bland surroundings with awe. Naruto spent most of that time gurgling at the ceiling and trying to interact with the matrons who come in to feed, clothe, and bathe him.

No one else comes to visit the baby for a long while.

It was there that Naruto learned to walk. He'd been eyeing the bars of the crib for days now, small, delicate fingers curling and uncurling as the little blonde furrowed his eyes. He'd then surprised one of the orphanage workers with his new trick. She'd come into his small room with nary a hello to give him his food, a sneer sitting on her lips and eyes scrunched with contempt. Naruto didn't seem to notice this, as he furrowed his brows, hooked his small fingers around the bars of the crib, and hauled himself up.

The matron's eyes widened and she stumbled, nearly spilling the bowl of mashed carrots and peas in her hands. Naruto, being a year and a half, took this as a positive response and beamed at her, flashing the matron his biggest, toothiest smile. Using the railing as support, the infant bounced on his short legs as he shuffled closer to her, small pudgy legs taking small, wobbling steps towards her as he giggled in delight and pride. The matron, however wasn't as amused. She moved strands of blonde hair out of her face, blinking as she stood in shock. The shock on her face melted away after a moment had passed, leaving only fear and rage in its wake. The matron quickly strode forward, harshly setting food down a tray startling the boy and causing him to fall flat on his behind. The caretaker stalked the door, pausing to send him a withering glare, (Because how dare, how dare that monster act like a child) before slamming the door behind her.

Naruto's big blue eyes went dull, and his previously sunny smile waned completely as his little lips wobbled. Then came big fat tears, and no one else entered his room for the rest of the day.

That was not a good week for him.

The next step Naruto took in his development at the orphanage was talking. He started by mimicking the matrons, who harshly corrected him when he said the words wrong, and later with help from the old man with the funny looking hat. At first, he only attempted to speak when another person was around, babbling at them with heavily slurred words and half-formed sentences. When that wasn't enough, Naruto then took to talking to himself, as the times when he could truly interact with another individual were few and far between, as when the three-year-old would see the other orphans he was either quickly whisked away or glared at until he stopped trying to engage with others. The toddler knew by this point the matrons didn't like him at all, even if he didn't know why. This perceived dislike spread to the other children, who started to take notice of the matron's disdain for him and then started to imitate them by ignoring him, too.

And even as loneliness and misery crept in and sat heavy in his chest, something in him roared in defiance, like the embers of a fire that refuses to die.

And so the orphanages routine continued on for the next few years of his life. The silence and isolation leaving him deprived of comfort and life. The only things to be heard around Naruto on a semi-regular basis was his own babbling about anything and everything as he tried to fill the silence, the adults, the faint rustling of trees and giggling children.

Then, there was a change. Suddenly, the dreary walls of his room tiny little room disappeared, along with his bookshelf and the door he so desperately wanted to be left open, no longer shut and firmly out of his reach. The kids who shied away from him, the sneers of the matrons, all of them were wiped away in a second as he was quietly led out of his dingy room, down the tiny desolate halls. Naruto knew these halls, had seen them thousands of times from when he was carried under the arm of an adult to the baths. But having an adult allow him to walk on his own, letting him marvel at the way the wood flooring slid against his soft feet was something different altogether.

There was another door, and suddenly the ceiling was gone. Naruto openly gaped, wincing at the light as his eyes tried to adjust to truly being outside for the first time in… how long had it been again? He hadn't realized he had stopped walking until he felt a tug on his hand, snapping Naruto out of his reverie and moving him forward, out of the courtyard and onto a road leading into Konoha proper. The blonde boy was too busy gawking at the village outside to notice the glares he was being given as he was lead down through the village, store owner's eyes widening with shock when they recognized him and quickly shutting down their business while he passed. He was brought in front of a big building, dragged up long winding stairs and walking past rows upon rows of doors, until the guide let his hand go, stopping front of a single door at the end of the hall, a plaque with a faded number he couldn't read printed onto the industrial white paint.

The door opened. It was definitely bigger than the room Naruto occupied before, with multiple rooms and furniture in good shape, along with a balcony and a bed with multiple blankets. The door closes behind him, and the boy turns around to find his guide is gone, the door firmly shut, just like back at the orphanage. Then Naruto's world goes quiet again.

However, the day after Naruto turned the tender age of five, all that silence suddenly ended.

He woke up to noise.

It was as if someone had started directing five symphonies directly on his ear drums, a wall of sound descending on his ears and filling up his head with sound and drowning him. There was a strange buzzing in his ears as he tried to differentiate between the tangled mess of tone and reverberating notes, accompanied by the regular noises made by the village outside, so much of it that he couldn't pick up anything else.

Just as he felt like his eardrums were going to burst, the boy let out a gasp and fainted dead away.

* * *

As panicked ANBU flit about the small apartment, one faceless ninja with wild silver hair cradles the unconscious child carefully, taking a moment to card his callused fingers through the tiny child's messy blond hair, looking up and signaling to the figures in the space with him using a strange sign. A ninja splits off from the group of four, his brown hair lagging behind him slightly as he uses the window to escape, heading off in the opposite direction using a shunshin. The rest look towards the gray-haired ninja for orders, who nods at them, shifting the unconscious child in his arms and hauling ass to the hospital, his normally deadened black eyes manic in the face of an injury towards the one person he could barely even look at.

Unbeknownst to the team, a small squirrel with extra tail fluff and red flecked fur watches the scene closely from where it's sat on the balcony window. As the ANBU cart the unconscious child off to the hospital, the small creature's eyes glint with a strange, almost human-like intelligence that couldn't normally be seen by the regular human eye.

It chitters excitedly to itself, hopping onto the ledge of the window as the brown nin jumps through it. From its place in the windowsill, it paws at the glass with tiny finger-like paws, squeaking about this strange human, about the wave of human thought that flooded the frequencies that morning, peaking the little squirrels interest. Before, most animals in Konoha avoided this place, for it seemed to emit a menacing aura that to permeated the entire building, radiating malice and rage. But no longer was that frighteningly acidic power gushing from the metal and wood, having settled into something aged and reeking of untameable power, less malevolent and more resigned. The squirrel assumes that all that power was coming from the blond boy, for as soon as he was removed all that pressure cut off, becoming undetectable to everyone but those with the keenest eye. Flicking its bushy tail once more, it wiggles its nose and turns around, daintily jumping down from the ledge and skittering away, climbing down the side of the building with impressive grappling skills. (Presumably, due to how fast it scampers away, the small rodent is on a mission to go tell someone else about it, squirrels have a tendency to be the absolute worst gossips.)

* * *

Naruto regained awareness slowly. As the blank numbness of unconsciousness fell away, he became aware of how he felt as if he was floating to the ocean's surface after spending too much time on the quiet floor of the sea, immobile and subject to the oceans currents and sway. He regains the knowledge of himself as his senses come back online, synapses flaring to jumpstart his thinking processes, making him aware of the throb in his ears as he swallows to clear out the fuzz in his head and throat. Naruto lets out a small, slightly pained grunt, reaching up groggily with sluggish limbs to rub at the offending appendages.

"Naruto?" a hoarse voice asks with - concern? For a moment he wasn't sure who it was because 'why would anyone talk to him that way? No one talks to him or even about him with that much concern for his wellbeing, it just wasn't done!' his dazed mind exclaimed, causing his cumbersome body to jerk. So caught up in his thoughts, Naruto didn't notice the elderly man beside him make an abortive move towards the boy, as if seeking to shake him awake.

He's snapped out of his reverie when the voice calls again, quieter this time as if talking to him through a closed door.

His tongue feels like cotton in his mouth as he sluggishly whispers, "Jiji…?" eventually prying open his eyes and turning his head towards the elderly Hokage.

Hiruzen gazes solemnly at the small boy lying engulfed by his hospital bed and the white sheets he's tucked under. His golden blonde hair contrasts sharply against the stark white of the bedding, making his pallor seem paler and form weaker than it really was. Hiruzen sighed perturbed, "You gave us quite a scare, Naruto. Do you remember what happened?"

Naruto blinks slowly, once, and then twice, furrowing his eyebrows before shaking his head at the question. "Sorry, Jiji… I-I don't...just- when did the village get so loud?"

The elderly man's eyebrows briefly raise at the question, but the look of surprise quickly shifts into one of thoughtfulness. Studying Naruto with an assessing gaze, he strokes his grayed beard, "What do you mean, Naruto?"

The four-year-old in question shifts awkwardly, pulling himself into a sitting position, "You mean- you can't hear it? Everything's louder! I'm not the only one who hears it, right, dattebayo? I-it's not as bad as before but it still hurts, I thought for sure that everyone heard it..."

The tension in the Hokage's shoulders seem to dissolve at that, his mind finally being able to rationalize the strange fainting episode, and he lets out a huffing breath. Then, the old man leans over and ruffles Naruto's hair, reassuring the five-year-old with the words, "Do not fret, Naruto. It seems to be nothing serious, the doctors here may have to do a few tests, but ultimately you seem to be fine. You'll be released from the hospital when you wake up, for there is nothing physically wrong with you, but for now, please try to rest."

Naruto pouts a little, his nose scrunching and bottom lip poking out marginally, but in the end, he concedes and rubs at bleary eyes, settling back into the bed and burrowing in the sheets and slipping back into sleep.

Hiruzen stays with his charge a little while longer, partly to avoid paperwork, but mostly just to make extra sure that Naruto's condition is stable, that he won't suddenly seize or convulse or have some other horrific medical catastrophe occur.

He quietly leaves the hospital rooms a few hours later. Stepping gingerly out of the hospital room, so as not to wake the boy sleeping away 10 feet from him. With his break achieved and worry for the sunny child alleviated, the Hokage puts the episode out of his mind, grumbling about the stack of paperwork on his desk, pulling a piece off and beginning to sift through it.

'Hypersensitivity, eh? It doesn't seem to be the Kyuubi, at least… although it could be a byproduct of the sealing... I'd have to get Jiraiya back to Konoha to be sure. There's no way in hell I'll be able to con him into returning to the village right now. It seems we'll just have to watch and observe, and hope everything turns out alright.'

* * *

The crows were bothering him again.

There were five or six of the pests, pecking insistently on his window; their beady eyes accusing as they squawked and clacked their beaks at him through the glass.

Naruto, who was preparing himself dinner, ramen, sighed. The blonde pursed his lips and turned off the faucet, then leaning over and hefting up the rusted window, grunting as he did so. The flock scrambled to get inside where it was warm, at the sight of fluttering, crowing, and pecking birds, Naruto rolled his eyes while shivering at the cold air brushing his skin. He gently pushed the tangled mass of black feathers inside, allowing them to pile themselves in front of his heater.

The eleven-year-old half-heartedly flared at the feathered creatures and their antics whilst he struggled to close the window; snapping it shut with a click and locking it. Naruto flicked the faucet back on, resuming his culinary activities, all the while pointedly ignoring seven crows, who were happily chirping and preening near the cheap space heater. The heater wasn't much, cheap and small, but it was the best could do at the moment, seeing as the actual heater was sitting lifeless in the closet, broken and cold.

(And it wasn't like it like it was going to be revived anytime soon, either. Damn the landlord and his prejudice.)

Naruto scowled, calling out a chiding "Oi!" as a particularly chatty crow - Ran - flew up to perch on his shoulders, blinking up at him owlishly. Ran's brother - Rei - was right behind, deciding to make himself comfortable in the hood of his jacket. The blonde's scowl deepened, but he said nothing, instead opting to scratch Ran's head and finish making his cup of instant ramen.

While he loved most kinds of ramen, instant ramen was really just a cup of disappointment. The noodles ended up bland and lumpy, the vegetables hard and undercooked, and the flavoring that just stunk of chemical processing. However, it was really all he could afford, as he always seemed to splurge his very meager finances whenever he passed Ichiraku's; the good food and hospitality was not something he could usually pass up. It would have to do, he supposed. After all, bad ramen was better than no ramen - or dinner - at all.

The kettle whistled as the water for the noodles came to a boil. He carefully, so as not to disturb the birds that were cuddled up to him, poured the water into the styrofoam cup sitting on the counter next to the stove, before shutting the lid. With measured steps, Naruto set the piping hot cup on a small table in the center of his living room. Rei and Ran left their perch to fluff and preen in front of the heater with the others while Naruto flopped tiredly onto the couch, massaging aching muscles.

He'd been practicing the katas Mizuki-sensei had taught him before class at the academy started to no avail. His stances were awkwardly placed, making him feel vulnerable and weak, and every time he practiced a strike, he over-reached and lost his balance. His lack of ability in Taijutsu was never more apparent than during the training spars the Ninja Academy held. He'd had to fight Kiba today; Kiba had smirked at him, all pomp and obnoxious declarations about how easy it would be to beat him. Naruto had tried to get into the stance he'd been taught by Mizuki, but he wobbled uncertainly. Kiba burst into laughter with the rest of the class while Sasuke caught his eye and smirked derisively at him. Naruto ignored them, gritting his teeth.

Kiba didn't bother getting into a stance as he rushed at the blonde immediately, pulling his fist back for a punch. Naruto put his hands up to block and use Kiba's fist against him, but Kiba easily bypassed his meager defenses, his fist connecting with the underside of his jaw easily. Naruto's head snaps backwards, and Naruto lets out a pained grunt before swinging his head back and headbutting Kiba in the face.

Kiba curses and stumbles backward, unsteady for a second before easily regaining his balance. He aims another punch at him, but this time Naruto is prepared for it, successfully pulling off a dodge. (A rather close call, but a dodge nonetheless.) However, Kiba anticipates this and Akamaru happily jumps into the fray. The pup had safely sat off to the side until now, his partner being disallowed during one on one spars. Naruto had disregarded the puppy, up until now counting on the rules to keep him out. It seems this was not to be, as Kiba had decided to pull out all the stops and fight dirty. As he is narrowly avoiding a punch, Akamaru jumps into his legs, tripping him.

Naruto flails, arms pinwheeling as he tries to stay upright before he falls face first into the dust with a heavy 'whump'. Kiba presses his foot into the small of his back, laughing loudly about his easy victory.

Naruto hauls himself to his feet and slowly shuffles off to the sidelines while the class points and laughs. Sakura and Kiba's laughter rang the loudest, rubbing salt in his wounds. Mizuki-sensei just levels a pitying and slightly disappointed look at him. Naruto's fist clenches and he throws his chin up. He declares his dream of being Hokage and points at Kiba, yelling about how he'll grind him into the dust next time. The boy kept his head held high for the rest of class.

After the Academy let out, Naruto allowed his chin to drop. His bubbling confidence withers away in the blink of an eye, and Naruto droops as he makes his way to an old, torn up training ground. Training ground repair is usually left up to the people who made the mess, but sometimes the damages require more extensive repairs than just clumsily filling up craters with doton jutsu.

This one seems to have been forgotten, which means he has the place all to himself. Animals know not to come near training grounds, due to the sound of metal and large explosions that take place there, as well as Naruto's own warnings.

Throwing his bag down under a tree, Naruto stretches. He doesn't like doing warm-ups, they make his muscles burn and ache, and he always feels sore after, but he's decided that if he's going to perfect his katas, he may as well do it right.

Naruto runs through the katas, again and again, practicing his strikes on a tree. But he still wobbles, the stances feel awkward and vulnerable and contort his body wrong. With growing frustration, Naruto continues for two hours before giving up with a yell and throwing himself onto the ground. Harsh grumbles disrupt the quiet of the forest around him as he catches his breath.

He knows in that moment that taijutsu is a lost cause, it's obviously not something he can learn. He'll have to think of something else to make up for it. But how?

He retreats to his apartment after coming to that conclusion.

The blonde blew out a long sigh. The roller coaster of a day had distracted him from just how tired he is. He trains and trains and trains but no one looks his way, he doesn't improve, he stays the same and no one notices. His limbs felt heavy like lead and his head was growing fuzzy with deep-seated exhaustion. As he began to drift, not even the scent of cooling ramen warded off the tiredness taking hold of his bones.

The academies Dead-Last dozed off to the light sounds of ruffling feathers and cawing, muttering sleepily to himself, "I'll need to plan another prank soon…" And then let out a light snore, body falling slack and relaxed.

* * *

A seven-year-old Naruto trudges through a grove of trees, sunlight filtering in through the shallow canopy, turning the forest floor alight with golden yellows and greens.

An oversized shirt hangs off his skinny body, stained and torn. The spiral symbol faded and bleached off of a worn pair of shorts that were fraying at the ends. They catch and cling on the various bushes he was fighting his way through with a long stick. His feet are bare.

As his feet hit sandier and flatter ground, littered with small weeds and shoots of grass, bits of gravel and dirt clinging to his limbs. He comes to a stop in front of an old, gnarled oak tree, the centerpiece of this patch, it seems. The hulking trees roots are coiled and twisted around the trunk, sprawling outwards and threatening to trip anyone who runs by too fast. A large, hollowed out crevice is wedged between them; just wide enough for him to sit in. With downturned lips, he scuffs calloused feet on the ground, grass and sand sliding between his toes. The stick is let go of, softly forgotten, and Naruto drops to his knees.

Shuffling forward, rubbing his knees raw on rocks and hard earth, he crawls inside of the trunk. It's a tight fit, but soon Naruto is hugging his knees to his chest, breathing slowly into his knees. His breath hitches and he lets out a small sniffle.

He sniffles again, breath shuddering. Then once again. Each sniffle growing wetter and growing in octave until he's weeping into his knees, hands curled into fists and shoulders quivering.

He stays like that for a while, quietly weeping and shuddering in a small, damp space. It smells of tree and mud, of loneliness and reminders that despite coming here to get away no one will come for him. No one will hold him and pat his back and make him feel better. He's alone. (And the thought of that only makes him cry harder.)

A twig snapping brings him out of his fit of self-pity, and he frantically wipes away tears and snot, before poking his head out from the oaks offered safety.

He expects a villager, maybe a chunin - certainly not the guys who smell funny because they don't smell like anything and everyone has a smell... He's still wondering why they like to hang out in trees or on the roofs of buildings at all times of the day, he can tell they are there, even if he can't see them.

(Unfortunately for the ANBU, who, while very skilled and adept at hiding their presence, try a little too hard at hiding their scent. This means that Naruto's exceptional nose recognizes the weird smell-but-not and it ends up completely blowing their cover. Practically invisible people or not.)

Instead, he ends up looking into the face of a small black crow.

The crow clacks its beak at him. A threat.

Naruto jerks up in surprise, knocking his head on the wood of the tree trunk. "Ow, damn it!" Naruto cries with a yelp, rubbing at the tender spot and leveling the crow a glare. The crow hops forward slightly, head pointed towards his right leg, which was now folded under himself, rather than half-way in the tree's hollow.

"That's mine!" It calls, tugging on the frayed hem of his shorts, "You're sitting on my acorn! It's mine! Give it back!"

"Wha-?" Naruto mumbled dumbly, before shifting his leg and looking down, finding a small brown acorn tucked snugly between his leg and a knot of grass. He reaches down to grab it, but the crow calls out a war cry and lunges at little Naruto, beak latching onto his hand and pinching. This dislodges the acorn, causing it to go rolling into the grass and out of sight.

Naruto curses, reeling back and shaking out the irritated area. He glares at the bird, but when the little terror opens its beak and fluffs its feathers, he winces and quickly sputters out, "Sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't see your acorn there, I swear!"

The crow hisses at him but backs off. Naruto looks down at the acorn he'd accidentally crushed beneath his palm speculatively. He narrows his eyes at the ground below him, gliding his hand through the grass blindly. As he glides his hands through the long blades of grass, he feels a slight urge to giggle, despite his situation. Naruto feels a bump and snatches it up. He brushes the dirt off the nut and carefully slides the acorn towards the crow. It looks at Naruto with suspicion, stepping backwards and forwards a few times, thinking over his intentions. It finally comes to a decision, as it extends its neck and quickly plucks the acorn from his grasp. Awkwardly, Naruto rubs the back of his neck, "Er, I hope that will make up for stepping on it…"

The crow cocks its head at him, prize firmly clasped between its beak, and gives him a piercing stare before making a muffled cooing noise, and flying away.

Naruto silently watches the crow sail away, wings beating frantically. With a sigh, Naruto slowly gets up, brushing the dirt and sand off of himself as best he can. He pats his shirt, picks up the discarded stick, and starts the trek back to his apartment.

'Well, at least I don't feel so bad anymore… what's the point in crying, anyway? I don't need anyone, I'm strong. Hokages don't cry, after all!'

* * *

It's been approximately two weeks since Naruto met that crow in the woods. That day he'd went home, shook off the events of the day, and life then returned to its usual levels of monotony. Unfortunately, that extended to his days in the academy, too.

So, for the umpteenth time this year, Naruto could be found scowling and fidgeting as he stands in the hall silently. The blonde sighs, glaring holes in the wall directly in front of him.

Once again, he was kicked out for being "disrupting". He'd been sleeping during the lesson, and he knows he doesn't snore! The eraser trap wasn't even his prank, it had come from the opposite direction and yet he'd still gotten punished for it.

Naruto's pout was overtaken by a slow, sly smirk. If he thinks Naruto was the one who threw that eraser, he'd do him one better: by pointing and laughing at the results of the glitter bomb he stuck in his ninja pouch that morning. It was really clever, too. He'd keyed it to explode right as class was ending, right at the bell, while quickly pilfering the newly open package of senbon. It was a shame he wouldn't be there to see it, but at least the teacher hadn't noticed and he had some new pranking supplies.

The smirk dissolved from his face as fast as his pout and the boy's expression turning downcast, a large frown pulling at his lips.

He was supposed to be learning how to throw kunai today. While not as exciting as making explosive tags or learning awesome jutsu, he'd been looking forward to it. It was still a major tool that ninja used, after all.

Naruto sniffed.

Suddenly, Naruto hears a tap on the window. The blonde boy sniffles again and turns his head towards the window. He goes from downtrodden to anguished in a second because there's a flock of crows there, one eagerly tapping on the glass. A flock of noisy, annoying crows. Naruto hopes the floor will open up and pull him under.

'Crap' Naruto thinks because he already knows how this will turn out. Sure enough, another crow with more plume and an exaggerated strut joins the first in pecking at the window. Naruto closes his eyes and thinks about escape. He wishes he could teleport, rather than have the rather useless ability of speaking to animals.

It's no wonder he has a migraine, he's in hell.

Naruto glares at them, internally panicking as they get louder and louder, more crows joining the first in attacking the window. The blonde makes a shooing motion at them, raising an eyebrow and pointing towards the skyline.

"Go." he says firmly, the hand not pointing in the direction he'd prefer them to go settled on his hip.

They don't go. In fact, it just seems to encourage them to misbehave further. Now all seven cawing, jumping crows were fluttering about, practically throwing themselves against the glass.

Naruto groans, looking down both ends of the hall and straining his ears for any sign of teachers. Finding none, no light sounds of footsteps or breathing, nor seeing any flashes of the brown and greens the chunin academy teachers wear, the boy turns back towards the window, hunching his shoulders.

"I know you can hear me!" the blonde whisper-yells, his frustration and dread mounting the longer they stayed.

Gritting his teeth, Naruto crept towards the window; the motion calming the birds down slightly, causing them to back away. Putting his face nearly an inch away from the cool, smooth glass of the window, the academy student puts his small hands back on his hips, glaring at the crow who started it in an imitation of the scolding pose the few adults in his life used on him as he hissed out a low, "What do you want?"

The stupidest one, and obviously the leader, hops in a circle, flicking its head towards him while gleefully chanting, "We want in! We have something to give you, something to give you! Strange human, we bring gifts!"

The others soon join in with its stupid little dance, prancing about in an oddly deformed circle while continuing their annoyed chant.

Naruto realizes with another frown that until he lets them in and do what they came for, they probably won't leave him alone. He doesn't feel like being mauled by crows in front of the whole school, at least he can be mauled while he has some semblance of privacy. 'Best get it over with.' Naruto mentally grumbles.

Then, with slow fingers, he carefully reaches up towards the lock on the window, unlatching it and smoothly sliding it open.

The blonde is immediately engulfed in bird, and Naruto sputters as they all tackle him at once, sending feathers flying as they screech and caw. They cling to his arms and hands, forcing him to awkwardly hold them out in front of him. The rest are smugly perched on his shoulders, and one has the absolute gall to get comfortable on the top of his head.

Damn birds.

He sighs, wincing as the crow on his head pulls at a strand of his hair.

Then he hears a shout, and whips his head around, dislodging the crow on his head, causing it to squawk indignantly.

It's an academy teacher. His mouth is agape, hanging awkwardly and stretching the scar tissue on his nose. Naruto takes a long moment to observe this man, eyes scanning over tanned skin and long brown hair tied back in a ponytail. He briefly glances over his chunin vest and notes the books in his hand. The birds crowding him are oddly silent. Naruto snaps out of his panic induced observations just as the chunin stops his gawking; Naruto feels as if he's stuck in limbo, perpetually gazing into this adult's assessing eyes, feeling dread slide through his veins as his entire world, his secret, teeters precariously on the verge of collapse, threatening to spill more evidence of his freakiness to the village and leave it to be gnawed on and devoured by the vultures that are the villagers. Naruto knows he couldn't handle that.

So, the blonde boy breaks eye contact, shifting his eyes away from the teacher as a fearful emotion passes through the front of his eyes. Naruto starts to sweat, and as the teacher takes a step forward, Naruto bolts.

He doesn't want to deal with the teachers with their hard expressions and judging eyes, couldn't bear to hear their accusing tones and pointed questions, so he spun away from the chunin. The sharp movement dislodged the crows perched there, causing them to dig their talons into his flesh, leaving ugly gashes along his arms and neck.

They sting but the look in everyone else's eyes burns like a hot brand, so he turns, running away like a coward. He quickly hauls himself out the window before anyone can blink, setting out in a dead sprint as the chunin lunges for him, shouting in alarm. He shoots like a bullet through the schoolyard, vaulting over the fence and into the street. He pauses and sneakily scampers into an alley, hiding behind a trash can as he watches that same chunin and another academy teacher run past, shouting his name.

He ducks out of the alley quickly, checking to see if anyone of importance spotted him, before setting an intense pace towards his apartment, scowling all the while.

However, Naruto, who is so caught up in his thoughts, doesn't seem to notice the small black shapes tailing him, leaving a trail of feathers in their wake.

* * *

 **The metal stairs leading to his apartment creak under his weight as Naruto slowly climbs them, his mad dash having sapped his energy, leaving him drained as the midday sun beat down on his back. Pausing to catch his breath in front of his door, he let out a sigh. He'd left his bag at the academy, along with throngs of angry teachers and students. His prank going off and the chunin teachers' subsequent failure at catching him probably going to bite him in the butt hardcore.**

Leaning down, the blonde lifted up the flaxen colored mat in front of his door and retrieved the house key, and unlocked the door, harshly pushing the door open. He takes shuffling steps inside as the door clattered harshly against the wall. The usually sunny boy seemed to droop, the adrenaline and fear of being caught leaving him all in one moment. He unzips his jacket and tosses it to the ground, before slipping off his shoes and leaving them in the middle of the floor, too. Naruto messes with the strands of his straw-colored hair before pulling out a chair from his kitchen table and dejectedly falling onto it.

He then proceeds to sulk, muttering about crows, pranks, and annoying teachers, eventually devolving into cursing life itself, all while sinking further into the chair. "Stupid teachers, stupid pranks, stupid life! Damn it!"

Naruto huffs and looks around the kitchen. Light filters in from the windows, lighting up the room. Many different types of plants sit on the counters, the tables, or even hang off the ceiling. An ant farm sits near one of the larger windows, it sits slightly ajar, just enough for the ants to come in and out.

Naruto figures he should water his plants, maybe shower too? He couldn't go back to school without seeming like a coward, so he was just biding his time until he was either called into the Hokage's office or received his punishment. The blonde flicks on the tap, setting his watering can under it and watches how the light reflects off the water as it slowly fills up. He flicks off the tap before he can over fill it, and sets about carefully watering his plants, standing on a chair to reach the ones dangling from the ceiling.

With his plants fed, Naruto goes to take a shower. He shoves off all the dirty clothing, leaving it all in a pile on the floor, before stepping into the shower and turning the knob. It's not warm, but it doesn't feel like ice either, but it's always been like that as far back as he can remember, so he doesn't really notice it as he scrubs his hair with soap, trying to get out all the dirt his lion mane gathers during the day. He then steps out of the shower and wraps his fluffiest towel around himself before looking into the mirror.

Naruto frowns at his reflection, "I just want to be a ninja… so why does everything keep going wrong?"

The whiskered child turns away from his reflection, and towels himself off as he heads towards his room and opens the dresser, pulling out his most comfortable pajamas. He's using the damp towel to dry his hard as he walks back into the kitchen, but then he hears a tap against the door the balcony. Naruto scowled, realizing that they must have followed him home.

Damn birds.

He sighs and treks to the door, before pulling it open and using his most irritated voice, dripping with disdain, "What do you want?"

The leader cocks its head at him before chirping out, "We brought something for you!" while the others crow in agreement. The leader takes to the sky, the others to follow, and soon Naruto is left alone on his balcony, feeling thoroughly confused. He looks down, only to see a small pile of acorns near his feet. The blonde facepalms, but a grin pushes itself onto his face anyway. He scoops up the pile and walks back inside, only to hear a knock at the door.

Naruto starts to sweat, he's in for it this time.

He reaches for the knob-

* * *

He startles from his sleep at the sound of rapping on his door. Disorientated, he scrunches his face and presses face back into his pillow, Ran nips at his ear.

"Deal with the knocking, Naruto!" Ran huffs, feathers fluffed in indignation at the interruption of her rest.

Naruto grumbles at her, swinging his legs onto the floor and yawning. Naruto hears the knocking again.

'wait-' The blonde freezes. 'wasn't Jiji coming over today-?'

And then Naruto is jumping up, calling out, "Just a minute!" to the Hokage, who Naruto knows is behind the door, and even if it's impolite to keep the old Hokage waiting, Naruto still has birds in the house, and there's no way he'll let him see it.

The blonde scoops up Rei, Ran, and a smaller crow named Aoi under his arms, and runs towards the balcony door, throwing it open and shoving the birds out. He hears knocking again and the call of the Sandaime, "Naruto? Are you alright in there?"

Sweat beads down his neck as he hollers back, "I'm just fine, datte- ACK! -bayo!" Spitting out the feathers that got in his mouth from when the last crow whacked him in the face with his wing, and brushes himself off, running to the door and opening it with a huff.

The Sandaime, in all his wrinkled, spotted glory stands in front of the door. Two Jounin escorts stand a ways back, trying to burn holes through his head with the force of their glares alone.

The Hokage raises his eyebrow at him, and Naruto grins nervously and rubs his neck, using the other to gesture him inside.

The Sandaime sighs and smirks a little, signaling to the jounin in dismissal. They hesitate, but turn away and then jump away. As he steps inside, Hiruzen frowns at the mess apartment but takes a seat at one of the kitchen chairs and clears his throat. Naruto gulps, leaning on the counter.

"Naruto," he starts, looking past Naruto at an area behind him, "before we do anything, I think it would be wise to close your balcony window, hm? You wouldn't want any pests coming inside, would you?"

Naruto's face scrunches in confusion while turning towards whatever it is the Hokage has his eye on until he sees a crow standing in front of his open door. It's Ren. The boy goes red in the face, retrieving a broom from the closet and chasing him out. Ren squawks as he boots him out with the broom, and Naruto mutters an apology under his breath.

As he shuts the glass door with finality, he turns around and says to an amused looking Hokage, "Hehe… must've forgotten to close the door when I took a nap earlier. Oops!"

"Indeed, Naruto, Indeed." his guest agrees, pulling out and lighting his pipe, "Your graduation exam is soon, you're growing up fast you brat. Seems like just last week you were five and asking me what a ninja does."

Naruto scowls in a playful manner, "You're just getting old, Jiji!"

"I suppose I am, hmm… if I'm old, that must make you a tiny brat, hmph. I swear I get no respect from you."

Naruto just sticks his tongue out at him, and in retaliation, Hiruzen blows smoke into Naruto's face, chuckling when he splutters. The Hokage smiles fondly at him, before he slowly hauls himself to his feet, grumbling about his hips.

"Walk with me, Naruto? A new ramen shop has opened up and I'd like to try it. My treat, as you must've been exhausted to have forgotten about the ramen you made earlier," the old man eyes the full cup, sitting cold and uneaten on the coffee table.

The blonde's stomach growls in response, and Naruto shines him his biggest, most glowing grin. "Yes! Yes! Yes, Ramen!" he shouts, dancing to a tune no one could hear, eyes squinted.

The Sandaime chuckles.

* * *

The village was lit with lanterns and people bustling about, trying to get some last-minute dinner. Some buildings sat dulled and dark, shadowed by the lights of business that were still open, while others that seemed insignificant during the day seemed to shine, standing out among dark houses and streets. The villagers out seem haggard and tired, holding bags of food, toolkits, and plenty of other assorted items. They vehemently ignore Naruto as they pass the pair in the street, but bow reverently to the Hokage as he passes, calling out greetings like, "Good evening, Hokage-sama!". It makes Naruto shrink in on himself internally, his mood dropping slightly, and in response, Naruto puts his arms behind his head, plasters on a grin, and puffs up his chest.

As he walks, kicking pebbles and dust with his sandals, moths that flutter and buzz around lit lanterns seem to freeze for a split second, before turning around and flapping breezily towards him, settling themselves on different parts of his jacket. The blonde grimaced as he vaguely hears the words "bright light!" and other chattering coming from the moths, muted and static-y.

Naruto deigns to ignore them.

He turns his attention back towards the town around him, at dimly lit stalls, and vendors closing up and packing away their wares, and then swings his vision to the Hokage walking in front of him, robes bright and clean despite the dusty road.

He feels something crawling up his leg, and sighs when a baby garden snake pops out of his pant line. It flicks it's small tongue out and with a small hissing noise, slithers into his pocket, curling up where it was warm. "Can I stay?" it says, poking its head out from his left pocket with big unblinking eyes. Naruto can never resist that expression on anything that comes to him for help.

"Sure," Naruto groans, "just, don't come out until I say so." and in return, the little snake head butts Naruto's hand where it rests near the pocket and coils itself up, virtually undetectable. Despite naruto's best efforts at staying quiet, the older man in front of him hears him, turning around and looking at him weirdly,

"Did you say something Naruto?" he questions, eyebrow raised.

"Ah- um, no?" Naruto says, feigning ignorance and turning his face away from the older man, who looks at him funny once more and then shrugs slightly, turning forward again and taking a right onto a narrow road.

As Naruto turns to follow the Hokage down the way, he narrows his eyes at the crows hanging on a wire, glaring at them harshly and flipping them off, lightly jogging to catch up with the aging leader.

Rambunctious laughter in the form of ugly bird shrieks follow him all the way to a place called "Kazuki's Ramen Stand".

* * *

And that's the first. Gosh, I really have no idea where this fic will go, but it'll sure be fun! Pardon my horribly awkward attempts at writing dialogue. I really hate this chapter and will probably be doing a lot of editing, but I haven't posted in almost four months over this ahaha, the next chapter will probably be of better quality.

A warning that angst will definitely appear and this fic will probably turn out AU as fuck. I hope you enjoyed this at least a little bit, and feel free to leave a review with suggestions, critique, or any other questions you might have.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Frequencies

Fandom: Naruto

Rated T for violence, profanity, and general fuckery

Summary: Naruto can speak to animals, and as it turns out, they're all apparently dead set on ruining his life.

* * *

Hey y'all, it's me. Firstly, I'd like to apologize for taking…. A year and a half to update! I uh, kinda forgot about this fic? I was a couple months late updating this one and I just sorta… got distracted by other things? Oops. Well, that's all over now. I got chapter 2 complete and am now putting it out. Gonna make heavier edits to it later this month, but I figured I've held it hostage in my drafts for long enough. I'll be editing the first chapter this month, too!

To address some things: firstly, my writing style has… definitely changed. A lot. You can see it, hopefully. Not sure if i've _improved_ , but I have _changed._ Secondly, this is genfic! No pairings whatsoever. Just good ol' friendship up in this bitch.

Now, with that done, let's get on to the chapter! Appropriately titled: "In Which Naruto Paints a Mountain, Fucks up, and Graduates."

* * *

With a half-melted popsicle dripping onto the dirt road below him, a preteen with dull brown hair and equally dull eyes trudges down the street, swinging a bag of groceries clutched in his other hand.

He's sweating heavily, the sun's overbearing heat pressing down on him like it was to every other citizen of Konoha

It's almost fall, and yet the summer temperatures haven't mellowed out at all. The boy turns into a nearby alley, presumably to walk in the shade. However, as he continues walking, his appearance seems to shimmer, flashing blond and orange for a split second before shifting back to brown and green. An owl glides overhead, hooting and cooing down at the child. The boy looks up at the bird, flashes it a cheshire grin, playfully sticking his tongue out at it. The bird hoots at him indignantly, but is pointedly ignored.

The popsicle stick is discarded before he exits the shaded alley and steps back out into the blistering heat. His groceries swing in his arms as he placidly wipes the sweat collecting on his brow, trailing down the busy streets towards the Hokage monument. Once there, the child slowly climbs the steps up the mountain, panting and sweating under the afternoon sun during the trek to the top.

Halfway up the climb, the boy shimmers and fades out, and in the place of a sweating civilian child is a mundane, tired-looking construction worker. The groceries become a metal toolbox and a long coil of rope. Nevertheless, the figure climbs the rest of the way to the top, and instead of following the designated trails, veers off directly into the thick forest above the monument.

As Naruto—henged as a maintenance worker—steps further past the treeline, a skunk reveals itself, beginning to chatter at him excitedly.

"It's you, isn't it? The one who can Speak? What're you doing all the way out here?! Oh my gosh. Are you here to take requests?! Can I have one? Please?" It chitters, tail flicking wildly as it babbles on.

"Er, no. Sorry! It's somethin' else." Naruto stutters, a bit caught off guard. He adjusts the paint hands chafing his palms, but the skunk grows even more excited, somehow, and takes his reply as initiative to _climb_ him. With an aggravated sigh, Naruto henges the skunk, too. Small forest animals line the edges of the bushes, attracted by either his scent or the skunk's loud chattering. It's all gossip and hearsay from the squirrels, of course, but Naruto's used to their shenanigans by now and ignores it. They watch him carefully as he steps past, but Naruto isn't really worried, only hoping that they'll stay out of the way.

He's only going to be in the academy a little while longer, and this is his pranking finale! Surely, he'll pass this time, and Naruto won't let anyone or anything ruin this prank. It took weeks of thought to plan, and everything has to be perfect.

Naruto breaks free from the treeline, standing directly over the carved head of the second. Still in his worker henge, he ties his rope around a large rock, triple knotting the loop. Then, he tugs on the ropes to check that the knot won't come loose, and seeing that it stays firm, tests it a second time by tying his paint cans to the edge of it and dropping it off the cliff face. It holds the weight, and Naruto deems it fit to use. With a shrug, Naruto retrieves his paint cans and ties the rope around his waist. He clips the paint cans to his belt, arms himself with his paint brushes, and descends the mountain face, touching down on the second's head. The skunk whoops wildly, looking as if its birthday came early, and this was its present. It chitters and squirms, and Naruto has to lay a hand on its back to keep it from falling off his shoulder.

"Be careful!" Naruto hisses, rope jerking.

"Sorry!" it squeaks, clearly apologetic. Naruto accepts the apology with a small huff, sends the skunk a sly grin, and makes a great leap off of where he was perched. As he does so, Naruto releases the henge he was wearing like an old coat, workers clothes and tools slipping away to reveal what they truly were: a prankster and his supplies. With the ruse given up in favor of attention-grabbing melodrama, Naruto gets to work. He swings from head to head as he systemically defaces them, dipping brushes into his paints and dragging thick, wide streaks of fluorescent pigment across dull stone. The owl that had been tailing him earlier hoots at him from afar, even as it joins several sparrows and a finch in hovering around him.

Naruto, with a glob of paint drying onto his nose, just sticks his tongue out at it, ignoring its offended squawk and instead giving the third hokage another splash of color. It's childish, he knows, both the pranking and sticking his tongue out, but he can't find it in himself to be embarrassed or ashamed of himself.

After all, this would probably be his last prank.

He was due to graduate soon (this time, this time _for sure_ -), and while he could get away with it as an academy student, this sort of thing wouldn't be tolerated as a genin or higher-ranked shinobi. Being unabashedly mischievous didn't bode well for his professional reputation, so he wanted to enjoy this one last prank before he'd have to get serious. Naruto had been planning this specific prank for weeks, wanting to get the timing and steps exactly right, so as to cause the biggest scene he could.

That was the point of pranking, after all: to use all your cunning and skill to achieve reactions from people. After all, if you couldn't get them to like you, you could at least make sure they didn't ignore you—at least, that's what he tried to tell himself.

At first, he'd contemplated some sort of balloon prank, or employing the help of some of the animals that bugged him. All were interesting and very entertaining to think about, but Naruto eventually decided that his final prank should be something flashier, something only he came up with and carried out.

Thus, he'd decided to aim for the most prominent place in the village—the Hokage Monument. Most places in the village had an almost perfect view of it, but there was one place in particular that he wanted it to appear visible to—Jiji's office. Naruto knew that there was some sort of serious meeting going on that day. He didn't know who would be there, only that pretty much everyone of import would be there.

(Who was really important within Konoha, Naruto didn't know. He was merely worried about making sure his landlord didn't kick him out and managing his own secrets. He didn't need to keep track of other people's business, not if he wanted to keep a clear head.)

The Hokage Tower was in direct view of the Hokage Monument.

There was no way they could miss it. Naruto giggles a little, the animal's around him giving him a funny look, but Naruto just points to the defaced Hokage Monument and shrugs. Another splatter of paint against the molded stone. The skunk nestled in the crook of his shoulder reaches a paw out to touch the wet paint, curious about the strange substance. Naruto pauses to let it dab its paw into the paint, reaching out of the can to find the appendage covered in fluorescent pink.

The skunk stares at it for a moment, blinking, before attempting to stick it in its mouth. Naruto starts, pausing in his attempts at vandalism with a small shout of "no!", grasping onto its paint-covered paw to make sure it doesn't try to eat it again.

"It's not edible!" Naruto scolds.

"I'm sorry!" the skunk cries, thoroughly cowed. Naruto stares at it for a moment, tempted to climb back up the mountain and deposit it in the forest as punishment, but heaves another sigh as it flashes him wide, rounded eyes.

Naruto just glares, dips his wide brush into his blue can of paint, and goes back to finishing his prank. Unfortunately, while Naruto had been wrapped up in making sure the leech hadn't poisoned itself, the village had finally realized what was going on at the Hokage Monument and sent on-duty chunin out to stop him.

He only realizes just how quickly they're gaining on him when he hears a furious cry of his name.

"Naruto!" screams Uematsu, a career chunin that was usually tasked with putting a stop to his antics. The boy in question startles, jerking back to look for the source of the sound. He finds the man near the base of the mountain, grouped among several other chunin—all of whom looking extremely pissed.

Naruto gulps, realizing that he needed to put some distance between them and himself, and he needed to do it _quick._ He really should've been paying more attention to his surroundings, and part of him feels angry at himself that he hadn't. However, most of his brain was focused on the next phase of his plan: The Great Escape. It was the most difficult part of a prank, but arguably the most thrilling. There was nothing like a successful getaway, even if he didn't manage to do it very often—chunin were _fast_.

So, Naruto swallows the hint of nervousness that rises up at the thought of being caught and lets his lips stretch into a wide, toothy grin. The skunk on his shoulder squeaks at him, probably to ask what was going on, but he ignores it, instead focusing his attention on escape. He scrambles to pop the paint cans shut so none would spill. Then, he jerks his body forward until his feet are touching the cliffside, before kicking off with a mighty heave.

This swings him back in a wide arc, and the skunk shrieks in fear, clawing at his shoulders for purchase. Naruto winces a little, but his grin doesn't falter. Using the momentum created with the swing, he manages to grab hold of a rocky ledge on the Jiji's face, scaling the head as fast as he can. The rope is long enough that he can freely roam the cliffside without having to strain or fear tearing it, so he spends the rest of the climb up running along the faces of the monument, scrambling across the second and first hokage's heads with one hand on his paint supplies, and the other keeping a steadying hand on the skunk's back.

He really didn't want to get sprayed. He really really did not want that. It was risky enough taking the skunk along as it was, but the ensuing chase would probably leave it even worse off. He knew for a fact that skunks tended to be skittish, and easily lose control of their weird, gross defense mechanism.

Finally, Naruto reaches the steps that wind up the mountainside, and hops the railing, beginning to dash up the stairs, one hand still keeping the skunk secure. He hears shouting from behind him, and when he glances back, he can see the group gaining on him.

He'd have to hurry. A little hysterical, Naruto giggles, abruptly turning into the dense forest at the top of the mountain. He makes sure he's a little ways in before he unhooks the paints from his belt, abandoning the entire this altogether. He'd come back for it later, he promised himself, stashing the paint cans, brushes, and belt hooks under a thick bush.

A garden snake slithers by, looks up at him, flicks its tongue towards the paints, and promptly dives forward to eat it.

"No! It's not for eating!" Naruto shrieks, leaping forward to scoop the reptile into his arms.

The snake simply shoots him a skeptical look, beady eyes telling him exactly what it thinks of that. "It's not?"

"It isn't. It, _for sure,_ isn't." he confirms, allowing the snake to slither back onto the ground.

"Oh." it says and slithers back into the bushes without another word, having accepted his answer and moved on as quietly as it came.

 _Snakes._ They were always a bit terse, and really only paid attention to one thing at a time. Everything else, even if it was someone speaking to them, became a mere part of the scenery.

He had dwaddled too long, it seemed, because there's a cry of "gotcha!" and Naruto is ducking on instinct, avoiding the chunin's outstretched arms by a hair. He yelps and the skunk digs its tiny, sharp claws into already tender skin.

"You missed!" he taunts, even as he turns heel and runs the hell away. With his hands free, Naruto shifts the skunk into his arms, peeling it away from where it had pressed itself into his neck and plane of his shoulder blade. It fidgets and squeaks but soon settles down, merely tucking itself into his chest as Naruto nearly leaps down the mountain steps. He's taking them five at a time, feeling tempted to simply leap from the mountain and let the birds catch him—as they always do when he falls—but he knows that's suspicious, and suicidal, so he keeps his head angled forward, making sure his eyes follow the winding path down.

He's not expecting the chittering laughter as he makes it to the base of the mountain and leaps off the steps, but he does feel immensely relieved at the way the skunk joyfully squeals, "This is so fun!" to him. ' _Yes!'_ Naruto wants to shout, ' _no tomato bath for me!'_

Instead of sticking to the dirt roads, Naruto makes an effort to the throw the chunin off his course by weaving by narrow pins, jumping up the sides of buildings and over fences as well as flinging himself and the skunk off of clothing wire, at one point. He's nearly overwhelmed with adrenaline, manic grin etched into his face as he bolts through the village, parting crowds around him (and ignoring their murmured insults, said low, however just loud enough for him to hear).

Naruto gives a small cheer of victory when he manages to shake his pursuers and the skunk cheers with him. He'd abruptly turned a corner and ducked into an alley just as the group of chunin sped around it, bypassing him completely. Heck, they were even shouting for him, as if he were still just ahead of them.

He peeks around the corner, skunk still in his arms, and sticks his tongue out at their backs.

"Did we lose him? Did we?" his companion whispers, looking between Naruto and the empty road, as if waiting for the group of chunin to suddenly reappear, heading their way. Elated, Naruto smiles down at the rodent, eyes crinkling in his glee.

"Yeah, we lost 'em! We did it!" he laughs, adrenaline from the chase mixing with triumph to create a jittery concoction of emotion, making him almost giddy.

"No you didn't, Naruto." someone grinds out, voice ringing out from somewhere behind him.

Naruto shrieks, jumping back as his heart leaps into his throat, falling into Iruka's chest, and thereby his grasp. ' _Caught.'_ he thinks, distantly, but he can barely register it over the sound of his own heartbeat and Iruka's scolding.

His former glee quickly sours into the sludge-like sensation of dread, oozing with resignation, which quickly turns to panic and disgust as the skunk loses control of its defenses.

"Gross!"

* * *

Iruka, reeking of skunk spray and scowling, drags an equally smelly Naruto all the way back to his apartment, as there was no way he'd be able to haul them both back to the academy in their condition. The chunin has him by the collar of his jumpsuit, ensuring Naruto won't be able to shake himself from Iruka's grip and run off—not that he would.

Naruto's flailing had scared off the skunk, along with Iruka's rage-filled cursing. And though the look on the thing's face made him sympathetic, Naruto couldn't really feel any real remorse for scaring it. It was the cause of his current predicament, after all. Getting frightened off is the least that it deserves.

The door to his apartment is thrown open (Naruto winces the entire time—if there's a dent in the wall the landlord is going to _kill him_ -) and he's marched to the bathroom, even as Iruka gripes about having to go buy tomato juice—and a lot of it.

Naruto just sighs.

* * *

Naruto's apartment was silent, with the exception of the sounds of the bathwater lapping against the sides of the tub, Iruka having left to go tend to his own stench a half-hour before. This left the academy student alone with only his thoughts for company.

It was quiet, quieter than his place usually was due to the regular hubbub of harassment he received from Konoha's assorted fauna. Usually, some creature or another would've swung by to hound him for treats or favors during his few moment of relaxation, disrupting what would've been a muted, quiet afternoon and sweep him into some grand "adventure" or another. (or, more accurately, simple tasks that would devolve into disaster scenarios that ended horribly for everyone involved.)

It seemed, however, that the rest of the day would be uninterrupted, likely due to the craziness of that morning, and the news of his current odor. Most animals had a sensitive sense of smell, after all. They wouldn't want to chance it.

Normally, this would have Naruto cheering, rejoicing in the idea of being left alone, but sitting curled up in his empty apartment, only the sound of the bath water and his own breathing to accompany him, Naruto kind of missed all the noise—even if it gave him a headache half the time.

The silence, the kind that had his ears buzzing and whirring, searching for sound, made him feel kind of lonely. The tomato juice stunk in combination with the faint scent of skunk spray, making him want to gag. He, too, had a better sense of smell than others, making the whole fiasco even _worse_ than it already was. Even so, Iruka-sensei had promised him that the tomato juice would get the smell out, so he dutifully continued to soak in it, rubbing the substance into his skin.

It was vaguely sticky, and it felt like someone had poured oil directly onto his skin, but he powered through. It was only his hair that got to avoid treatment-via-tomato juice, opting instead to use regular scented soap and rinse it out with clean water. It might smell funky for a few days, but he really didn't want to ruin his hair—it was already unmanageable as it was, if it turned red or started to fall out, he wasn't sure what he'd do.

Getting caught was the _worst_. It ruined every prank, and overtook the humor in whatever he had just done, instead instilling an acute sense of dread in him. The kind of dread that lasted for days, a vague imprint that trailed after him and refused to be shaken off. Getting punished for it was arguably worse, but the initial catch was always what stuck with him. After school detention would pass, regret and humiliation would not.

(He tries not to think about Iruka's disappointed face as he punishes him, looking at him like he's something small and hopeless. He doesn't think about the scowling, disgusted faces of the other chunin-sensei, either.)

Eventually, when Naruto was sick and tired of sitting in tomato juice, he stepped out of the tub, smelling distinctly of tomatoes. He's getting the juice on the floor of his bathroom as he steps out, lacking the forethought to put a towel there, and he mourns a tomato-free house. With his luck, the stench would linger for _days._

It wasn't skunk spray, but he's not sure he likes this alternative any better. Naruto grumbles as he dries himself off, scrubbing at his hair with a dry towel. His skin is a pinkish red due to the juice, and he scowls at his reflection through the busted, scratched mirror.

Naruto takes the towel he was using to dry his hair, and hides his face in it, nose wrinkling at the dampness of it, even as a tidal wave of shame and embarrassment wash over him. He continues to keep his face smashed into the towel, waiting for the whirlwind of negativity to pass.

He thinks about getting caught, unbidden, and then he groans into the towel, voice muffled by the fabric.

"Why?" he whines, wishing there was a jutsu he could use to wipe his memory.

He stays like that for a while longer, sopping wet and with his face buried into a towel, cheeks as red as the tomato juice, until he hears a tap on glass. ' _A moth?'_ he thinks, as sometimes they throw themselves into the window above the toilet. However, it's only just hit noon, and the moths weren't due to be out until a good seven hours from now.

He opts to ignore it, resuming where he left off and continue to dry himself.

There's another tap on glass, and when Naruto startles slightly, there's another. And another, until there's no way Naruto can ignore the animal that's very obviously at his window.

Naruto sighs, and like there's a monster just be behind him, ready to tear him apart as soon as he confirms its presence, stiffly turns around.

There's no one at the window. He sees no beaked pecking at his glass. There's neither hair no hide of a rodent, or a possum. There is, however, a small pile of what looks like… berries? Naruto cautiously tiptoes closer to the window, squinting.

' _They seem like blueberries to me.'_ he hesitantly confirms and promptly forgets himself. In only a towel and nothing else, Naruto pulls back the curtains draped over the windows fully, and reaches up to the top of the pain to fiddle with the dusty latch. He hasn't needed a reason to open it until now, to the lock is rusty and dirt-crusted, causing Naruto to grimace as he opens it.

He pauses in his fiddling when he hears the tell-tale sound of skittering, small feet scraping along the wall.

That confirms that the appearance of the berries was intentional, and obviously caused by an animal that knows him—or at least of him.

Finally, with chafed fingers, the latch gives way, allowing Naruto to slide the pane up so he could retrieve the fruits. Only, as soon as he heaves the glass up, the pile of berries becomes destabilized, tumbling off the pane in both directions. Naruto curses as an assortment of blueberries come tumbling into the bathroom, strangely bouncy as they roll into every crevice of the room.

God, what _next?_ Furiously, the boy ducks his head out the window, craning his head in all directions to look for even a hint of the culprit.

Nothing. It seems the perpetrator has already made its escape.

He clenches his fist, grits his teeth, and promptly blushes, realizing he's leant halfway out of his window in nothing but a towel. Quickly, he shuts the window, forgoing the lock, and slams the drapes shut, obscuring him from view.

Then, he peers at the abundance of berries scattered on his floor with unabashed enthusiasm, that is to say—none at all. With a frustrated sigh, Naruto quickly gets to work snatching up the fruit.

' _At least they tried,'_ he thinks, fantasizing about homicide.

* * *

Naruto refuses to put his jumpsuit back on until it's clean and skunk spray-free, so he slips into an old, ratty shirt, and faded shorts, coloring black and bright orange, respectively.

They're comfortable, in that too-big way, but he really wishes he could just wear his usual getup—it was exam day after all. Passing the exam in shorts and a t-shirt wouldn't be very cool of him. He had everything all planned out, but now all of his plans had been dashed.

Worst of all, Naruto has a deal with a fuming Iruka in his apartment, having come back smelling faintly of tomatoes. Naruto had been repacking in his things at the time, preparing what he thought he'd need for the genin exam later that afternoon, when Iruka-sensei had burst in without even knocking, launching directly into lecture mode. The man had sat Naruto down at his kitchen table and lectured him on proper behavior and consequences for a solid half-hour, and by the end of it, Naruto felt like his ears were going to fall off. His eyes had been glazed over for fifteen minutes by that point, and in his agony, his only thought was about when the talking would _end._

But it did eventually end, as all things do. Iruka was breathing heavily, voice hoarse from yelling, before suddenly going lax. His teacher practically collapsed onto a chair, clumped like he was forty years older than he actually was.

It's quiet in the kitchen, with only the ticking of the clock to break the silence. Naruto opens his mouth. Iruka shoots him a very pointed, sharp glare. Naruto closes his mouth.

"Just- clean your apartment, Naruto. I'll clean your bathroom, god knows you can't do it, but when I come out this place better be spotless." the man says, drawing himself up from his chair to trudge to the bathroom.

He watches him go, slightly relieved to be left alone. Why he had wanted anyone around earlier was now mystifying to him, because all everyone ever did was annoy and yell at him. He's pouting, he knows, but he can't help it. It's kind of offensive that Iruka-sensei would lecture him on the cleanliness of his home, given that the man doesn't live here, but Iruka is an adult, so there's not much he can say to that.

Plus, as an academy student, the rent was paid for him. That would change once he became a genin, though. He hoped he'd be able to make enough money to struggle through until he hit chunin. And he _would_. No matter what—he would.

(After all, what else was there?)

"Naruto, how much hot water do you use?! The water is ice cold!" Iruka shouts from the bathroom, and Naruto doesn't have the heart to tell him that cold water is all there is.

" _Damned landlord."_ he curses lowly, mentally shaking a fist.

In lieu of a serious answer, Naruto pastes on a smirk and cattily retorts, "Iruka-sensei, I thought you were gonna clean, not shower! Tomato juice not enough?"

Naruto laughs faintly and proceeds to ignore Iruka's frustrated reply.

Iruka was right about one thing, though. His apartment really did need to be cleaned… plus, Iruka was scary when he wanted to be. He wasn't all long-winded lecturing, he could dole out a mean punishment if need be.

With that thought in mind, Naruto frantically gets to work picking up dirty laundry, placing it into the hamper. He increases his pace when the sound of running water shuts off, sweating slightly as he hurries to dump expired food into the trash and scrub the grime off old dishes (using only cold water), Naruto knew, deep down, that Iruka's threat was likely empty, and there was no way Naruto would finish before Iruka did, but he didn't want to test it. At all.

The boy dumps his kunai pile into a drawer, pokes cloth pieces hanging out of his dresser back in, messiness within hidden from Iruka's sight. He bounds through the house, likely disturbing the neighbors who live on the floor below him, and bolts to his bed. He doesn't have time to properly make it, so he straightens out the covers it a bit, pounds on the pillow twice, and rearranges it at the head of the bed.

As Naruto swivels on the balls of his feet to go tend to the stains on the kitchen counter, the bathroom door opens, allowing Iruka to step out. There's an irritated furrow in his brow as the boy catches sight of him entering the foyer, and he feels the urge to retreat back into his room, with the door locked, preferably.

Iruka glances at him, appears furious for a moment, and then his face softens. Naruto blinks as the tension seeps out of the man's frame, shoulders slumping, wrinkles smoothing out. His gaze turns from angry and frustrated to something slightly fond.

"Jeez, clean your apartment once in a while, Naruto! I'm not always going to be here to get you to clean it! Also, you're heading back to the academy. Final exams are today, and you're going back, whether or not you smell of skunk and tomatoes."

"Yeah yeah, I know, Iruka-sensei." Naruto sighs, back hunched.

Iruka nods, pleased, and that's just enough time for Naruto to spin around and zip back into his room, bolting for the window.

" _Hey! Get back here!"_ Iruka shouts as Naruto unlatches the window frame, sweating profusely as he attempts to make his escape.

* * *

Iruka drags him into class tied up, ropes chafing against his skin. Naruto complained, of course, fidgeting and wriggling in his binds, but Iruka quickly shut him down with a quick " _well, if you hadn't run, I wouldn't have had to tie you up, idiot!",_ which while... fair, only caused him to sigh and begin to sulk.

His teacher quickly deposits him in a seat and moves towards the front. "Mizuki-sensei, I'll take things from here. Thanks for filling in while I was gone!" Iruka says pleasantly, nodding appreciatively towards the assistant teacher.

Meanwhile, the students of the class shoot Naruto looks that are absolutely venomous, clear in their resentment and distaste for him. It seems that his prank had held everyone back from testing just yet, and he could see the boredom and impatience in their postures as plain as day.

Some students had just sat and waited, angled around in a way that meant they'd been talking, while others read or slept. Either way, on a day as big as this one, Naruto hadn't done any of them any favors by delaying the test. He wanted to wilt a little, sink into the ropes and hide his face, but a part of him, empty and scarred, felt a little smug.

He waves the feeling away, keeping only the guilt and embarrassment, but makes sure to keep his face angled downward—sulking. He was sulking. Letting them know he felt bad about it wouldn't make them like him any better, if anything, it'd only make it worse.

(Besides, it's not like they _had_ to hold things up for him, Mizuki-sensei was just as qualified ad Iruka-sensei was to administer the graduation exam. Naruto had no idea why everyone was made to wait. Then again, it might have nothing to do with him. He wasn't a teacher, after all.)

Stepping up to the podium at the front of the room, Iruka clears his throat. "Sorry for the delay, class," Iruka starts, posture straight and professional, "today is the day of your final exam. If you pass, you will receive a headband signifying you as a genin of the Leaf, along with a team assignment, which will be given out at a later date. However, if you happen to fail—though I trust that most of you won't!—you will either be dropped from the academy program or forced to stay back another year. Every student gets three attempts at the exam, so make sure you try your best!"

Several students flinch, nervousness taking hold of them, but Naruto just grits his teeth. It was his third try, and he knew that it was all or nothing.

He had one chance, one shot. If he missed, it was over. ' _Well, if I fail outta the academy, I'll just have to look for another way.'_ Naruto consoled himself, exhaling through his nose in an effort to calm his nerves and the spark of panic flaring within him. Shikamaru Nara, one of the laziest—if not the smartest kid in class—peers his way for a moment, raises an eyebrow and then looks away.

Naruto wishes Shikamaru wasn't as smart as he was, he seemed to know _everything._ It was annoying— _frightening._

"We'll now administer the test. Good luck to all of you!" Iruka-sensei says, the rest of the class murmuring their thanks, or simply nodding. The tension in the room was almost palpable, lying thick and noxious in the air, blanketing them. Even those with the utmost confidence in themselves (namely Sasuke Uchiha) were affected by the mood, tense and stiff in their seats.

No one was chatting anymore, and none of them spared Naruto even a glance. Their minds were fully focused on the test at hand, the tension only growing as Mizuki-sensei passed out the first part of the exam.

There were two parts of the exam: the written portion and the practical portion. The written portion was really only to demonstrate you knew the theoretical knowledge, and thus how to apply it practically, so Naruto knew it was worth less than the practical portion.

He was terrible at studying, characters getting mixed and warped in his head, causing just a couple pages of homework to require hours of agony, so he was banking on passing the practical portion of the test.

Which made sense, because as soon as Mizuki handed him his test, he knew he wouldn't do well on it. He'd had to read the first question several times before it made any sense, and even then he didn't fully understand it. Something about the trajectory of a kunai towards a tree, and how to calculate it.

The thing is, Naruto didn't know how to calculate it. Nevertheless, Naruto tries his best—scribbling down some numbers in a pitiful attempt at working it out, before giving up and writing a random guesstimate in the margin of his answer. He gives a small, mental sigh, and moves onto the next question.

The next question builds off the previous question, asking what theory applies to the last problem, and Naruto's lost.

He writes out a question mark and moves on.

The rest of the test passes just like that, with Naruto reading the question several times, struggling to comprehend it, and guessing his answer. By the time he puts his pencil down, it feels like his brain is smoking, burnt out from all the thinking. Granted, Naruto's sure that if he'd studied it would've taken less effort to write in an answer, but studying sucked.

The birds would bother and distract him, no matter how hard he stressed the importance of quiet, the characters would scramble and warp, and he just didn't want to sit. He couldn't sit.

It was much more productive to go help some animal with a practical problem, the kind of problems with solutions he could make with his hands and on the fly. He was always better at that than following a formula or remembering theories or who created what jutsu.

All of that was pointless to him. If he could do it, did it really matter where it came from?

Naruto was, of course, the last one to finish, so as soon as he put his pencil down, Iruka spoke once again. "That concludes the first portion of the exam. Please pass your papers to the front, and we will begin the last portion."

There's the shuffle and crinkle of paper as the sheets are passed to the front, but Naruto doesn't look up to passively watch Mizuki collect and stack them, instead choosing to peer at his hands, picking at them. He looks slightly disgruntled, he knows, but he bets—hopes—that others look the same.

He doesn't look up as Iruka begins to call names, ignores the puff of smoke and the thunk of kunai into wood, even as his mind catches on the rhythmic decree of "pass" with an occasional fail. (Naruto _definitely_ ignores the sniffles that appear after that.)

He focuses on his hands. Picks at a hangnail, ignoring the way it stings. Another name is called.

He absently scratches his neck, and misses the result of the next participant's practicals.

Another name—his.

"Naruto Uzumaki!"

Naruto's breathing hitches, and he looks up from his hands. The whole class is staring (some with smug, resentful smirks accompanying their stares) and Naruto wobbles slightly as he rises to his feet.

He takes another breath, squares his shoulders, and pastes on a large, prideful smile, straining his lips with the width of it.

One shot.

* * *

He missed.

He failed. His last shot and he'd blown it.

The swing creaks under his weight, old rope straining and cracking as Naruto faintly lurches forward, giving himself a slight push. He's rocking more than he's swinging, but it's comforting all the same.

Not by much, though, and it takes all he has not to break down right there. His goggles lay heavy against his forehead, thick and stifling, even as a light breeze ruffles his hair while he sways.

He wants to look away from the academy doors, watch the dust kicked up from his sandals instead of proud parents and happy graduates, hitai-ate's adorning their person. He hears hooting from somewhere above him but ignores it.

The villagers whisper and peek at him, something satisfied and relieved in their expressions. Naruto wishes, not for the first time, he knew _why._

Other than the pranks, which only started because they were mean and already hated him, he wasn't sure what he'd done to them.

"Cheer up, Naruto-kun! It's not all lost," a voice says from beside him. Naruto startles slightly—when had Mizuki-sensei gotten there? He hadn't seen him approach. He squeezes the ropes caught in his clenched fist in a vice-like grip, gripping the material so hard it chafes and irritates the palm of his skin.

"Whaddya mean?" Naruto questions, shooting Mizuki a questioning glance. His feet slow their gentle, rhythmic swaying, coming to an abrupt stop as Naruto drags the tips of his sandals into the dusty ground below.

The man smiles down at him, grin long and thin. "Ah, well, there's always the make-up exam, after all!"

"But Iruka-sensei said you only got three tries," he counters.

"That's for the main exam, but the makeup test is a bit different, and not everyone can take it. It's a secret make-up exam, so you have to keep it a secret, okay?"

Naruto peers at Mizuki for a moment, eyes roving over the man's face for a hint of a lie. Upon seeing nothing, he grins, eyes sparkling, previous despair completely forgotten. "Secret, huh? Well, alright! I won't tell anyone about it, dattebayo."

"Well then, with that settled, how about giving the make-up exam a try, Naruto-kun?" there's a hint of mirth hidden in the assistant teacher's voice as he speaks, inordinately pleased. Mizuki had never liked him all that much, maintaining a distant, professional attitude when interacting with him.

Well, he wasn't the type to look a gift-horse in the mouth, so he'd count his blessings. There's a wide grin splitting his face, eyes crinkling as he jumps up from where he was seated, nearly bursting with joy from where he cries, "I will, I definitely will! I'll pass and—and become the best ninja ever!"

"Well, I trust you won't let me down, then."

"I won't! C'mon, tell me what I gotta do! When is it?! C'mon, tell me!" he chants, nearly buzzing with excitement.

"Alright, alright, settle down. Now, here's what you have to do…"

* * *

"I… messed up, didn't I?" Naruto whispers to himself, crouched behind a tree, the Forbidden Scroll tucked safely into his arms.

He'd reached the meeting spot given to him by Mizuki, only to find that it was dark, and there was no one around. The meeting spot was the "goal", right? So why was he the only one here? Shouldn't Iruka-sensei and some of the others jump from the bushes to congratulate him on successfully completing the exam? Not even the old man had appeared, and the silence was worrying him greatly.

Did he have the wrong place? Naruto was sure that he'd heard it correctly, but now he wasn't so sure… plus, there were the alarms, and the ninja that had angrily chased after him, shouting and cursing.

He was used to that sort of thing, so outrunning them was fairly easy for him. Mizuki had said that that the make-up exam was supposed to be harder before they'd parted ways, but why were they going this far?

Hunkering down, Naruto tucks his face into the large, bulky mass of the scroll, practically hiding behind it. He'd have to ask Mizuki-sensei about it all, once the exam was done.

Would he fail again?

There's a rustle of leaves, and then Mizuki jumps from the bushes, causing Naruto to peek out from behind the scroll.

The silver-haired chunin peers at his surroundings for a moment, oddly tense, but smiles when he spots Naruto. He's got a strange weapon secured to his back, and his eyes are oddly wild, Naruto finds as he approaches.

He smells of metal, but most ninja do, so he dismisses the scent as nothing unusual. Mizuki-sensei had probably also gotten lost. Naruto would be sure to tease him about it later.

"Naruto, you did it! Now hand me the scroll," Mizuki says, holding out hand out, expectant.

The boy pulls himself to his feet, walking forward to meet the man, "Uh, Mizuki-sensei! Are you sure we made it to the right place? Why is no one here?"

"Hand me the scroll, Naruto, and I'll tell you."

"What- what's going on?" he stutters, "Did something happen?"

Mizuki lurches, light taut string snapping. "Hand me the scroll, you fool!" the man hisses, teeth bared as he snarls at him.

Naruto flinches, stepping back and out of Mizuki's reach. His eyes are wide, hurt shining in them as plain as day.

"M-Mizuki-sensei?"

Mizuki lunges for him, and Naruto clumsily jumps out of the way, shock shifting to betrayal and bristling anger. There's something manic and unsteady about Mizuki, something about the hunch of his back or the white's of his eyes that tells him that he's close to snapping.

He looks a bit like a rabid opossum he'd seen (and had to kill) one time, all blind pain and rage as it nipped and lashed out at everything around it. It was unable to speak, frothing and choking and _dying_. Almost helpless, but violent enough to do some damage before he went down. Mizuki turns to him once more, lines of his face heavy and curled.

Naruto takes another step back, arms squeezing the scroll he's not sure why he has. Before anyone else can make another move, however, the bushes are creaking and rustling, and a solid, human shape form steps into the clearing. A human sounding voice appears with it, shouting as soon as it spots him.

"Naruto! What are you doing?! Get away from him!" Iruka shouts, kunai out and face pale.

"Wh-wha-?" he manages to stutter before Mizuki is spitting again, words like black tar.

"You really are a useless brat. Makes sense, considering _your_ nature."

That… hits something inside of him, something that has him reeling back as if punched. 'How did he find out?' is his first thought, but he mentally slaps himself, his secret wasn't very well hidden. It would make more sense if someone knew rather than no one, even if most simply chalked it up to his usual weirdness. He vividly recalls all of the times where the crows harassed him in public—usually the marketplace—or when he ducked into dark alleys to barter and chat with raccoons and other street dwellers.

Iruka snarls at Mizuki, voice fierce, "Careful, Mizuki. You know the law!"

Mizuki looks enraged for a solid second, before his expression and posture mellow out, a wane smile budding on his face, "Why should I care about that? A monster is a monster. I'm not like you, you know. _Weak_ and cowed… I have true ambition. True _strength_. I have the will to achieve my ambition, while you are a mere leech basking in mediocrity."

"Just what are you after?" Iruka spits, dodging Mizuki's ensuing attack.

During their back and forth, they had effectively forgotten Naruto's presence, allowing him to retreat back and _think._ He's panicking, deep down, fear and anxiety threatening to blow out from inside of him, but he forces himself to calm (not that it's really all that difficult—he's more confused than anything else). ' _Think.'_ he tells himself, trying to get the cogs of his brain to turn.

Judging by the frightened and cautious expression on Iruka's face, it was something Iruka also knew. ' _There's a law stopping Mizuki-sen- Mizuki from talking about something? Why?'_ he thinks, confused and wondering why they wouldn't—couldn't—say anything about Naruto's secret. Which was odd, because if everyone knew he could talk to animals, then why couldn't they say anything? ' _Where are the pests, anyway? Usually they'd've stuck their nose into this by now…'_ he thinks, distantly, before he has an epiphany.

What if it was a different secret? One only they knew? If that were the case, what did that have to do with him, then? If Iruka-sensei had secrets that he couldn't even tell… he could be a pretty cool guy. Secretly. Maybe he's a super secret advisor to the hokage and his position as an academy teacher is only a cover?

...On second thought, nah. Iruka-sensei was too lame and nagging for that.

' _I messed up.'_ he groans, if not for the first time.

Naruto startles when his vision flashes, a split-second glint of pointed metal tearing through his reverie before the toned greens and bright red spiral of Iruka's flak jacket obscures his vision entirely. There's a harsh ' _clang!'_ as Iruka presumably blocks and redirects the kunai thrown at him with one of his own. Iruka, positioned directly in front of Naruto, begins to speak in hushed tones, lips barely moving and he questions him.

"Naruto, why did you take the scroll?"

Naruto swallows heavily, voice small and almost vulnerable. "I- Mizuki-sensei said- he said there was a makeup exam! I… what's going on?"

Iruka frowns, pained, "Naruto, there was no makeup exam. I don't know what Mizuki told you would happen, but he lied."

Naruto sort of figured that already, but hearing verbal confirmation breaks him. The air rushes from his lungs, and he wheezes as if struck. He clutches the scroll tighter, almost detesting the thing for a moment, but determined to make sure it stays out of Mizuki's hands.

Mizuki simply laughs, "I'm the liar? Sure, I fibbed a bit, but I'm not the only who's playing nice with the devil. You lost your family to the monster, too, and yet, here you are! Protecting the thing like it's human!"

"I… I'm not a monster…!" Naruto blurts, shocked by how enraged and hateful Mizuki's words towards him were.

"Are you kidding? Stop lying, everyone knows that you're the-"

"Mizuki, _don't-_ "

"- _Kyuubi no Kitsune!_ Everyone except you, apparently!"

"Mizuki…" Iruka mumbles, aghast. He flicks his eyes towards Naruto, nervously gauging his reaction. ' _To see if I'll blow, if I'll become a monster.'_ a bitter part of him whispers, tendrils of hurt and betrayal sinking into his skin.

"I- what?" Naruto gasps instead, blinking. "Iruka-sensei, what-?"

Before anyone can anything more, Mizuki is lunging forward, shuriken flung from his hands. Iruka is quick to deflect or dodge them, only to be caught up in trying to fend off Mizuki. "I'll just have to kill you both and take the scroll for myself." he says, more to himself than anyone else, but the message is clear. This isn't a joke or a simulation. The scroll is important, and Mizuki is willing to kill them for it.

' _Where are the ninja from earlier?'_ he thinks, even as he slips a kunai from his pocket.

They're alone. No one's around to help. And if Naruto doesn't do something, he'll never forgive himself.

Demon incarnate or no—if Mizuki were to be believed, even if Iruka seemed to confirm it just by his reaction—he had to help.

Since Mizuki is busy attacking Iruka, that gives him a chance to get the drop on him. He won't suspect a thing, and then it'll be their win, hopefully.

Naruto slowly shuffles to the side, edging further and further behind Mizuki and Iruka, watching cautiously and with no small hint of fear as they exchange blows, sparks flying. ' _There!'_ Naruto thinks, eyes zoning in on how Mizuki's shoulder rises up, exposing his side.

It's his only shot, and he rushes forward to meet it. The boy, having set the scroll in a tree nearby, drives forward, kunai in hand. He intends on gouging at Mizuki's side but is instead met with a knee to his face.

Pain blossoms in his face, searing hot. He hears a crunch, and his eyes water he's thrown back, dazed.

There's another blow, this time to his chest, and he chokes. He can't breathe—can't see—there's blood in his eyes and it _hurts_. He thinks his nose might be broken. In that moment, all he can do is scream into the depths of his mind ' _Help!'_ , even as his mouth flaps uselessly, failing to suck in air as his chest stutters and chokes.

(If he had even a moment of respite, he'd have noticed that his call had been heard, _returned.)_

Naruto blinks milky, pain-glazed eyes around, blearily spotting Iruka's hunched form just a meter away. Mizuki's above him, looming and murderous. "You're terrible at hiding, you know," Mizuki says flippantly, as if he doesn't have a kunai en route for his sternum, and Naruto can't move, even though his brain is screaming-

There's a spitting hiss and Mizuki jerks back, hissing as small, sharp teeth latch onto his leg and hold on for dear life. "Fuck!" Mizuki cries, swatting at the badger doing it's best to take a chunk out of the ninja's leg.

It'd be funny if the man hadn't just tried to kill him.

A red fox, coat vivid and stark against the muted browns and grey-greens of the night-time forest, comes hurling from the bushes, sharp jaws snapping. It shrieks at the man, leaping for his throat.

"Stay back!" It yells, and Naruto is swamped with sheer _relief_. Someone came. Multiple someones. The two animals aren't familiar to him in any way, but he's glad to see them anyway. His relief is keyed up into fear and sorrow as Mizuki rips the badger from his leg and throws it away from him, drops of blood catching on strands of grass. The fox is flung brutally away, in the opposite direction, using the bottom of his heel—steel reinforced.

They don't get up, but Naruto can see them struggling, attempting to stand of shaky paws.

Mizuki pants heavily, wiping the sweat from his face and smearing blood around as he does so. The man wastes no time in aiming his kunai for Naruto's chest once again, but this time it connects.

The initial impact of the kunai is much like being pinched, until the kunai lacerates his lungs and organs, sending sharp, searing pain up his arms and back. He tries to suck in a breath, but he chokes once again, spitting blood and unable to get any air. He's gasping, eyelids fluttering as his vision goes static and white.

The pain is all-consuming, and he can feel himself wavering, processes shorting out as he blindly grabs at his chest, where the kunai was still embedded.

" _Naruto!"_ Iruka screams from... somewhere. He couldn't tell where. He couldn't tell where he was anymore. Naruto blinks... and blinks. And blinks again.

His vision, greyed and faded, spottily holds sight of Iruka being overpowered by Mizuki, his teacher bruised and battered. "Iru-ka-sen...sei?" he utters, twitching numbed fingers. He can't feel his wrist, like his finger pads and forearm are disconnected, a gap where nerves should be, but he still manages to limply grasp at the weapon embedded in his chest.

Naruto's jaw falls open in a silent scream as he yanks the kunai out, chest convulsing as blood bubbles up out of the now open wound. Blood slips from between his lips as he turns himself over, gasping.

With all of his remaining strength, Naruto tosses the blood coated kunai, falling onto his face as all his remaining strength leaves him, smiling weakly into the prickly grass.

His kunai hit Mizuki, and his cry of pain is music to his ears, even as his mind cuts out.

* * *

Iruka watches as Naruto face plants into the dirt, red straining the bristly, summer dried grass around him. Iruka wants to scream, but instead of running to his student's side, he deals the final blow.

Mizuki is staggering, and Iruka flexes bruised muscles and slices the man's throat open, strike messy and jagged.

The man gargles at him—and god, when did Mizuki start to look at him like that? All hate and warped, tangled resentment. How did he not see?—before falling to the ground.

He doesn't get up again. Iruka refuses to look, eyes locked on the grass below his feet. For a long moment, Iruka simply breathes, panting. He's nearly soaked with sweat and covered in scrapes. His mind is blank, and he just breathes.

The grass rustles, light breeze ruffling the brittle strands, and Iruka startles, eyes darting towards Naruto's unconscious form. Then, Iruka is on his knees, flipping the boy onto his back and half-cradling him in his arms.

"Naruto." Iruka says, lightly shaking him. He doesn't wake up, doesn't move. "Naruto? Naruto!" Iruka begins to shout, shaking him fiercely, nearly shoving him.

"Fuck," Iruka curses, slipping off his flak jacket to press the material over Naruto's wound, hoping to staunch the bleeding.

There's a gasp, and Naruto's eyelashes flutter. This has him leaning forward. "Naruto…! You idiot! What were you thinking?!"

The boy in question coughs, blood spilling from his lips (and splatter onto Iruka, but that's a scolding for another day).

"He-I thought… he s-said I could st-ill become a ninja. I jus' had'ta get the scr… scroll. Guess I s-shoulda known, huh?" There are tears in the boy's eyes, even as he wheezes and hacks, voice cutting in and out.

"No. There was no way you could've known. No one else knew what he was doing, either."

"H-ha… guess he had us all fooled then… Iruka-sensei. I'm sorry. I dunno what Mizuki was talkin' about, but… s-sorry." tears are flowing freely down bruises and bloodied cheeks. Naruto's face really was in bad shape. His nose was bent awkwardly, a large, black bruise stark against his pale skin just under his eye socket, blood and snot mixed and crusted to his face. His eyes were puffy, and his hair was bloodstained, more messed up than normal.

"I… it's true. I hated you for a long while," Iruka admits, a rush of relief tugging at his heart when he hears distant shouting, disrupting the silent, oppressive air of the forest clearing. "The Kyuubi… killed my family. You're not the Kyuubi, even if some may think you are, but at first, I didn't… couldn't see that. But… I soon came to find, you were much like me as a child.

I was always messing around, pissing off all my teachers and pulling pranks. I was quite good at them, you know. Nevertheless, I'm sorry, too. I should've seen that Mizuki was up to something. We were friends for so long, but I was blind. I-I'll take responsibility for this."

Naruto weakly grins at him, "I-it's s'ok, Iruka-sensei… the scroll's in th' tree, by the way."

Iruka laughs, a bit hysterical, "Thanks, brat. If it means anything, I think you deserve the headband."

Naruto hiccups, breath stuttering, and at this point, Iruka is just as tears begin to cascade down his cheeks with renewed vigor. He's too tired to even move, too shaken to do more than staunch the blood and hope the Kyuubi does something while he waits for a squad to find them. He shouldn't have been so hesitant to hurt Mizuki, he'd ended up worse for wear due to it. There's a pause, silence hanging heavy, and then Naruto speaks again, his voice a chopped whisper, eyes dulled and nearly shut.

" _Iruka-sensei..."_

"What, Naruto?"

" _Th-there's a fox on yer head,"_ he says, and then promptly passes out again.

Iruka sputters and finally notices the weight on his head. He looks up, and spotting fuzzy, dark ears, freaks the fuck out.

* * *

Light streams in through the curtains of Naruto's room, refracted beams warming scabbing cheeks and his bandaged face, warmth seeping into the blankets and into his pores. Faintly, Naruto sighs in contentment, before realizing that the window in his room barely touched his legs, let alone his face.

Naruto's eyes shoot open, and he blearily blinks away crusted tears and rubs the sleep from his eyes. He grunts, sores and scrapes flaring as he moves, protesting the movement. "Ow…" he whines. His body is stiff, covered in bandages and he's been changed into something thin and light.

Naruto blinks up at the white, cracked ceiling. He blinks again, brain stuck back in the forest with Mizuki, and then, with a great amount of effort, turns his head to the wide. He spots a small nightstand next to the bed, obscuring his view of the door to the room, but then it clicks.

Hospital. He's in a hospital.

On the table—hospital table—is a vase of flowers. Bright pansies and cheerful daisies are bunched with a few, ruffled carnations, some other long, small flower stalks shoved in there to fill the space. The scent is tangy and floral, and Naruto inhales deeply, trying to draw in more of the pleasant aroma-

Only to choke, chest shaking. Naruto hacks and wheezes, failing to properly inhale for a solid minute. Naruto groans as soon as he can breathe again, utterly miserable. Until, that is, he takes a peek at the table again, inspecting the remaining contents.

' _Ramen!'_ he mentally cheers, seeing five of the instant noodle packages stacked neatly together in a miniature tower.

Naruto finds himself smiling hard, even though he can barely move his body, and he's still not a ninja, and he's confined to a hospital bed (he couldnt _wait f_ or the animals to find their way here. It's going to be awful.) fuzzy joy clogs his throat more than blood and ramen swallowed wrong ever could.

In a good way, of course, It was a good kind of clogged.

"Oh. You're awake." a voice says, astute and utterly devoid of emotion.

"Mhhhph?" Naruto enunciates, straining his eyes as he attempts to peer at the nurse without moving his head.

"I see. Well, I'll inform Hokage-sama that you're awake. Please wait here." she says, and steps out of the room without a farewell.

' _As if I could go anywhere,'_ he thinks, downtrodden.

He's not sure how long he waits for, but by the time the door to his room opens again, Naruto has long surpassed agonizing boredom and slipped into a light doze, somewhere between consciousness and dreaming.

"Ah. He's fallen asleep again." an old, world-weary voice says, tone soft. Regardless of how low it's said, it brings him back to consciousness.

"...Ha? I'm awake!" Naruto warbles, voice rough, head lolling to the side as both Iruka-sensei and the old man step into the room. Iruka-sensei pulls up a chair for the hokage, before he pulls up a chair of his own. "Whaddya want, Jiji?" he grumbles, smile pulling at his lips.

"Naruto, be polite!" Iruka nags, and Naruto waves him off with a roll of his eyes.

"Meh."

"Naruto...!"

The hokage simply snorts, "Leave him be, Umino-kun. I've tried for years to get him to show me some respect, but the brat has yet to give."

"Hokage-sama…" the academy teacher stutters, appearing vaguely horrified.

Naruto just sticks his tongue out at him.

Before he can pull his tongue back, however, the hokage grabs it. He splutters, flailing painfully. "Ow, ow, ow! I give! I give!" Naruto cries.

"Hmph, that'll teach you." the old man says, a wane smile peeking out from the sides of his pipe. The smile falls away just as fast, wrinkles being pulled taut as he grows somber. "Naruto-kun, I hope you realize how serious your actions are?"

Naruto jolts, hissing slightly as his wounds are jostled, before gulping. "Y-yea… I got it."

"Do you?" the man questions, eyebrow raised.

"Jiji… I'm in the hospital. I can barely move."

The hokage gives Naruto a once over before the tension falls from his shoulders. "Touche, brat. Well, in that case… Umino-kun, if you would?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama!"

Iruka leans over, and gently pulls him up. Naruto whines as he's pulled up, and the bars of the metal bed frame he's leaned against bite into his back. Then, Iruka pulls something from his pocket, causing him to gasp.

Iruka-sensei slips the headband around his head, tying the fabric just so.

"B-but… I failed the exam? So- why-?" Naruto manages to stutter, chest growing fuzzy once again.

"Naruto, while you are especially lacking in some areas… you've proven yourself to be a valuable member of ninja society. Taking on a chunin planning on killing you and stealing one of the village's guarded scrolls seems like a bit much for a graduation exam, hm? You've demonstrated the necessary skills and work ethic to overcome your weaknesses, and thus, I personally award you the rank of genin."

"Congratulations, Naruto!" Iruka says, ruffling his hair.

Naruto wants to burst into tears right on the spot, and he can feel the way the tears worm their way out of his tear ducts, but instead of bawling or shouting, he simply grins. Smiling so hard, and so wide that his cheeks ache, his entire face sore from the motion.

"I won't let you down, Jiji, Iruka-sensei. I'll become hokage! You'll see!"

The old man laughs, "Ha! You'd better not, I can't wait to pass the damned hat."

"You can pass it down now, ya know?"

"Naruto!"

Naruto's giggling, bubbly euphoria seeping from every pore. The reflected sunlight filtering in warms his skin, and he can't he comes to the realization he doesn't actually regret anything he did.

Feel kind of guilty? Yes. But, regret it? Regret graduating? Regret helping Iruka-sensei? No. Never.

"Though… if you ever pull that trick jutsu on me again, I'm confiscating all of your ramen money." the hokage threatens.

Naruto gulps, ducking his head. "S-sorry…"

* * *

Peering through the hospital window, a pair of wide, amber eyes blink down at the trio, focused mostly—if not entirely—on the bed's occupant.

* * *

:3c? What's this? Whose eyes are those and what do they want? I guess you'll have to find out next chapter!


End file.
